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WARNING! THIS CD CONTAINS X-RATED MATERIAL - NOT FOR CHILDREN OR BLUENOSES! Once or twice upon a time, our hero, Mr. Rump L. Stiltskin, decided that his answering machine should be more than just a message taker. He wanted a telephone theater, where he could amuse himself and his friends with one-minute bits of original music and wit. One friend had her office mates call and listen to the messages. Before long word had spread and he was getting hundreds of calls a day - a million so far! Oh man, if we had a nickel... Some of the callers leave messages of their own on The Ultimate Answering Machine and provide raw material for more sonic collages. The "Potato Lady" left several messages, and the twisted genius of the Rumpster led him to cut and paste her inimitable descriptions of ennui and tumescence into lyrics that rhyme "potato" with "vibrator". DJ Rumpy Rump provides most of the vocals on "Sexual Hangups", both male and female. Listen to the beginning of "Make Love To Me", inspired by the oft-delivered suggestion "go f- yourself!" Guest vocalist Rosalie "Boom Boom" Barreca adds her distinctive Bensonhurst touch to several tracks, including "Dueling Bimbos" and "Oral Sex Show". Sir Rumpalot shares instrumental credits with Mickey, BTT's Chief Engineer, Bassist, and Major PITA, as well as a raft of guest artists (at least it resembled a raft when we pushed them into Sheepshead Bay.) Chief among them is guitar demigod Jon Gordon (www.jongordon-music.com,) who has worked with Suzanne Vega and Madonna, and brings a real touch of class to this tawdry production. In the meantime, listen to how much fun The Ultimate Answering Machine[TM] can pack into one minute! Check out the artist's website: http://www.phonetheater.com Track List: 1. Cleanest Penis 2. Laughing Lady 3. Oral Sex Show 4. Russian Women 5. Rappin' Rabbi 6. Potato Lady 7. Psycho Ward 8. Tired Of Television 9. Smegma / Spinbarkeit 10. Prank Call Theatre 11. Jiffy Pop Hat 12. Polish Cleaning Lady 13. Make Love To Me 14. Unwanted Comic 15. Tawana 16. Dueling Bimbos 17. Tinky Winky 18. Pannyhose 19. I'm Not Drunk 20. Skeetso-Freenik 21. The Pus Song 22. Phone Garbage Suggested CDs:Other Genres:
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